Best Pork Sandwich?

Beth is out of town this week—she and our friend Ben are on their epic bicycle tour of Wisconsin, AKA “the ride for beer.”
So, I figured I would settle into doing what I usually do when I’m single for the week—eat take-out junk food and watch tv. (I finished Harry Potter already.)
Yes, I know that it may seem like that’s all I do from reading my blog, but it’s not, I swear!
When I drive home from the gym, I often pass a drive-in place called Porky’s. This is the kind of place where classic car people gather on Friday nights and ogle each other’s chrome plated engines while eating cheeseburgers. It is also the place that proclaims from a large sign in front to have the Twin Cities’ best pork sandwich.
You can imagine that I have been intrigued.
I have managed to resist all of these years since Beth is not really a pork sandwich fan and I can’t really come home with a sammie for myself and no dinner for Bethy, can I? Also, it feels super duper naughty to pick up a pile of cholesterol on your way home from a workout, doesn’t it? At least from the half-assed workouts I engage in these days.
So here’s how it went down:
I pulled up to the drive in speaker and commenced the following exchange:
Speaker: wahwahwahscrhehcnewahwa
Me: silence (was that “just a moment?”)
Speaker: wahshcehrwahshrcherwah?
Me: I’d like a pork cutlet sandwich with fries and coleslaw, please.
Speaker: schewahwahcrrshwah?
Me: (thinking I’d been asked if I wanted anything else) No, that’s all.
Speaker: whashcrwahscherchchcwashnine
Me: Thanks!
I pull forward, ready pay some amount ending in nine. The woman at the window is frazzled and not much more intelligible. I pay her, pull forward, and get my food. At the next red light, I peek at the sandwich (after jamming a few lava hot French fries down my gullet) and it’s a breaded pork cutlet, between two pieces of white toast. There’s an onion ring on top. That’s it. No condiments? Does “schewahwahcrrshwah?” actually mean, “would you like anything on your sandwich?” Do they always serve them dry?

I waited to try it until I got home (no camera in the car, the lengths I go to for my public!).
Best Pork Sandwich? I don’t know. The cutlet WAS lovely. Tender and juicy with good seasonings in the crispy breading. But totally boring on plain white bread! I added some mayonnaise and lettuce and it was pretty good. Until I find out if they serve it any other way I will have to reserve judgement. The French fries were fantastic, though.